funny love quotes for him

"I being married.
1. "You can't put a price tag on love.
"Eighty percent of married men cheat in America.
7. "My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem.
There's a funny thing about love, and it's called everything.

Do you think that these funny love quotes have some true deeper meaning to them? Or are they just sayings that were made up at the moment to ease some tensions and knots? I leave you to be the judge and hope you enjoy reading them.
If you are looking for funny love quotes for him, then there is no better place to be than right here on this page where we have carefully selected some of the very best in love quotes that will make you laugh and forget your worries even for just a moment.
I really love quotes because they are inspiring and the very funny ones just make me laugh and wonder how creative people can be.
So to help you tell him, just how much you appreciate his company and enjoy the time that you send with him we have for you “Funny love quotes for him”. Our quotes are sure to tickle his funny bone and fill him up with the same amount of warmth and joy that he extends to you, which makes having you as a friend worthwhile.
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If Valentine’s Day for you is less about buying a card at these drugstore and more about telling your partner a classic joke, these quotes from Pinterest were made just for you.
And in case you missed it, we also rounded up our favourite love quotes for those more inclined toward the sappy side of Valentine’s Day.
Here I am, wearing worn jeans, an old sweatshirt with a hole in the pocket, messy hair, and they're complaining about some stupid trend or whatever.
I think I'll call off my boyfriend search now that hockey is back.
Love quotes that embody Sophia Masterson's dilemma in the best-selling Katy Perry-inspired erotic romance book, 'The Third Lover'.
You know it’s love when you want to keep holding hands even after you’re sweaty.
You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover’s arms can only come later when you’re sure they won’t laugh if you trip.
Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.
You know it’s love when you want to keep holding hands even after you’re sweaty.
A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one.
Once you have loved someone, you’d do anything in the world for them… except love them again.
There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.
Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never met.
Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
You can’t put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories.
Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.
To fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful.
Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Love is what happens to people who don’t know each other.
Love has the power of making you believe what you would normally treat with the deepest suspicion.
Here are 101 funny and cute quotes about love.
Love at first sight is possible, but it pays to take a second look.
The only creatures that are evolved enough to convey pure love are dogs and infants.
You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
Remember, love is not always supposed to be serious.
You can’t put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories.
Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.
Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
Love is like peeing your pants.
I was either in love or I had smallpox.
Love is a fire.
Love can sometimes be magic.
Romantic Birthday Wishes, Inspirational and Sweet Messages and Greetings Birthday Wishes for Husband, Wife, Couples, Lovers, Love ones.
For some relationship advice feel free to send a message.
The following quotes are dedicated to help you express your feelings for someone dear to you.
The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.
To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who’ll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you’re in the wrong house, that’s what it means.
Therefore, to be happy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.
You know it’s love when you want to keep holding hands even after you’re sweaty.
This largest collection of cute funny love quotes and sayings offers both funny love quotes for him and funny love quotes for her.
We don’t believe in rheumatism and true love until after the first attack.
To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
Love at first sight is always cured by the second look.
You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover’s arms can only come later when you’re sure they won’t laugh if you trip.
I haven’t experienced love yet, but it sounds stupid and fun at the same time.
The only people who make love all the time are liars.
In love, women are professionals, men are amateurs.
Life is one dumb thing after another, Love is two dumb things after each other.
Love is an unseen feeling that comes into sight before you fall in it.
A man in love is incomplete until he is married.
True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights.
To avoid suffering, one must not love.
Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
Preston Ni is a professor, presenter, private coach, and author of Communication Success with Four Personality Types and How to Communicate Effectively and Handle Difficult People.
For tips on improving relationships, see Five Keys to Enhancing Your Emotional Intelligence, Are You a Poor Communicator? How to Improve, Seven Ways to Say "No" and Keep Good Relations, and How to Enhance Closeness in Your Relationship.
Find unique and sweet love messages and submit cute, funny, or romantic texts for chat, texting, sms or whatsapp.
“She wore a fitted white scoop neck shirt under a thin jacket, slim brown pants and tennis shoes.
“You thought I didn’t notice the way you two looked at each other? I may be old but I’m not blind.
“The door opened, held by the butler, and Lord Montagu swept into the room, his presence overwhelming the space.
“=> When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.
“All pomp and show.” Anjali’s glare at the house would’ve exploded bricks if she’d had superhuman powers.
“Yes, I just…” Should I be honest and sound like a complete loser? Oh why the hell not? “I have not had a kiss like that in a while.” I licked my lips.
“This was now officially the most inane conversation in which Griff had ever been a participant—and that included a drunken debate with Del over ostrich racing.
“You’re not my words, Emma." I said, standing up and staring at the door while pretending to be gazing deep into her pretty hazel eyes.
“I have to console myself with the hope that I’d seen Isabeau soften, even hesitate, as if she might actually have taken my arm.
“For a God whose heart is supposed to be as cold as his realm, you are so warm and kind.
“Kyle, you are a mellow dude…You can’t be with an agitator.
“He smiled and scrawled something at the bottom of the answer sheet.
“Late twenties, single, female.
“Women were tricky creatures under the best of circumstances.
“I think sometimes the stars align whether we want them to or not.
“Trust me, my parents have about as much impulse control as I do.
“I can’t help it, I run up to him and put my arms around him.
In this post, Saying Images shares with you some of the cutest love quotes for him/her.
A picture is worth a thousand words, so how about an image with beautiful words inside? It’s must be awesome!!! That’s the reason why I created this site: Saying Images.
If I had to choose between breathing and loving you I would use my last breath to tell you I love you.
Funny quotes are also good for making other people laugh; posting one of these quotes on Facebook or Twitter is sure to elicit many chuckles from your friends and followers.
If you’re in need of a good laugh — and really, who isn’t? — then check out our list of the top 100 funny quotes of all-time.
Also included are interpretations, which attempt to explain just what makes each quote so darn funny– the interpretations also come in handy for that one clueless person who always says, “I don’t get it” in response to your hilarious joke.
First, because some quotes are based on interpretations themselves, which may be history and therefore useless for the natives, but not for foreigners; second, because the sense of humour varies and I like to understand how comes that sometimes quotes with no effect on me make you instead laughing loud.
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"Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who’ll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you’re in the wrong house, that’s what it means." George Burns.
"I wouldn’t be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife." Tony Curtis.
"Wild horses couldn’t drag a secret out of a woman.
"Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them." Ogden Nash.
"A woman voting for divorce is like a turkey voting for Christmas." Alice Glynn.
"If a woman insists on being called Ms, ask her if it stands for miserable." Russell Bell.
"Show me a woman who doesn’t feel guilt and I’ll show you a man." Erica Jong.
"Last week I stated that this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen.
"My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher." Socrates.
"A married man should forget his mistakes; no use two people remembering the same thing." Duane Dewel.
"Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel." Leonardo Di Vinci.
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage.
"There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught me with another woman.
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close knit family in another city." George Burns.
"I’m the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern." Mickey Rooney.
"The secret of a successful marriage is not to be at home too much." Colin Chapman.
"The appropriate age for marriage is around eighteen for girls and thirty-seven for men." Aristotle.
"I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute." Rebecca West.
"When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her." Sacha Guitry.
However, women seldom have lunch with wild horses." Ivern Boyett.
"If we take matrimony at it’s lowest, we regard it as a sort of friendship recognised by the police." Robert Louis Stevenson.
"My wife has a slight impediment in her speech.
"It was a perfect marriage.
"I haven’t spoken to my wife in years.
"Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself." Roseanne Barr.
"Bigamy is having one wife too many.
"Women: Can’t live with them, can’t bury them in the back yard without the neighbours seeing." Sean Williamson.
The first one left me and the second one didn’t." Patrick Murray.
"My computer dating bureau came up with a perfect gentleman.
"If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?" Lilly Tomlin.
"Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good.
He was eighteen, she was sixteen and I was three." Billie Holiday.
You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again." Joan Rivers.
I didn’t want to interrupt her." Rodney Dangerfield.
Still, I’ve got another three goes." Sally Poplin.
"Mom & Pop were just a couple of kids when they got married.
She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." Henry Youngman.
I wouldn’t stand for that." Steve Martin.
"I was married by a judge.
Every now and then she stops to breathe." Jimmy Durante.
Luckily, this is not difficult." Charlotte Whitton.
"I hate housework.
"I’ve had bad luck with both my wives.
Love is not always drama and romance, Love can be Fun too! Here’s a collection of best, funny and latest Tagalog Funny Love Quotes and Pinoy Funny Love Sayings made just for you and to share in your facebook or twitter accounts.
 If you have your own favorite  Quotes about Funny Love Tagalog, we would love to hear it, simply add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: pinoy funny love, and will posted up for you.
Click the button below to Submit Funny Love Quotes & Sayings.
Click the button below to Submit Funny Love Quotes.
Start your romantic moments with these funny love quotes or by referring funny quotes about love.
Here is a collection of Funny Love Quotes.
I love talk to foreign people, i want to go to German and Boston 8.
I love papih (daddy) and i love u too mamah (mum) eventouhh u really annoying 19.
If only tears could heal the pain I’m feeling right now, I’ll spend my whole life crying cause I know I’ll stay in love with him for the rest of my life knowing he can never love me back.
Loving someone forcefully and unwillingly is not love but “forced liking.” Sherilyn Fenn had remarked, “Harrison Ford… I love him.
A great love? It’s when you shed tears and still you care for him, it’s when he ignores you and still you long for him, it’s when he begins to love another and yet you still smile and say, I’m happy for you.
If you guys are in the mood to feel better, I created a video titled, "Inspirational Love Quotes".
Well, for me it’s waking up beside you, to watch the sun rise on your face, to know that I can say, ‘I love you,’ in any given time or place.
Such a kind of love has a very short life and is extremely short-lived.
Nobody likes to listen to such a statement from anyone i.e. “I love you for him”.
I love you for him” actually means that you like a person because of someone else.
If you love someone because of some other person, such love hardly has any meaning and is completely baseless.
The first thing I imagined when I saw the word ‘love’ is you.
Please do like us on our Tagalog Love Quotes PH Facebook Fan Page to keep updated on latest love quotes and pinoy jokes.
And since we are talking about humor, here are some of funny love quotes tagalog for you to read.
Hope these tagalog funny love quotes will put some smile on your face and brought you joy.
We are back again for another batch of good read tagalog quotes about love.
You can also check our other inspirational tagalog quotes and tagalog love quotes for him.
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If you are one of the men / women who mess up with the words, try our different categories of love quotes and increase your bonding.
Start to feel these love quotes from the deep of your heart only then you will have an idea on how love quotes can help you through a dramatic word play.
Our collection of love quotes includes the quotes under the categories famous love quotes, true love quotes, funny love quotes , short love quotes, love quotes for him, love quotes for her etc.
Just pass on some cute love quotes from our collection of cute “love quotes for him”.
They fails to realize how these cute love quotes can help them in making or securing the relationship.
Now, why don’t you bring out your love, care and appreciation through sending the love quotes for her? You can express your love in many ways.
The purpose of searching the best love quotes may be to attract the people over your social networks or to simply conveying the secret message to your special one.
When carefully chosen and conveyed these best love quotes can increase your bonding and secure your relationship.
Feel we enjoy from every one of these stages can be expressed through love quotes or love poems in any language.
Just pick out few love quotes from our impressive collection of ” love quotes for her”.
Whatever it may be, ever attempts to define a love gives a birth to brand new beautiful love quotes.
You can try your own words in your love quotes.
You can find love and love quotes from the books, novels, internet, mobile and from everywhere.
You shouldn’t use the funny love quotes where you suppose to act serious.
Love quotes come into play between these two extremes.
To be frank, most of the guys out there think love quotes as cheesy or corny.
No matter what , when a heart is filled with full of love, the way our eyes show our loved one, can’t be expressed through simple words.
Love is everywhere so the love quotes too.
It’s not about the hugs and the kisses that you get or, the “I Love you’s” and “I miss you’s” that we say, it is about the feeling that spreads inside each and every time that I think of you.
It can easily be expressed through the simple 3 word magic spells ” I Love You” or through complicated and beautiful Love poems.
But if you were there beside me to share the warmth of your love then I would want to stay under the rain for the rest of my life.
I love life but it’s worth leaving if I lose it with you.
I particularly like a quote by Woody Allen: "I was nauseous and tingly all over… I was either in love or I had smallpox." Find below a collection of really funny quotes on love.
Bond with your loved one over a witty line, a funny movie quote or a really funny love quote.

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