how to fix a broken marriage

He cites a couple that attended counseling sessions for weeks, and who came out of the experience with a better understanding of each spouse’s point of view — but no actionable steps to fix their marriage.

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“I don’t have the answers for everyone,” Shawn said, “but I do know this: That when everyone and everything’s telling you to give up, God is saying ‘stay.’  God is saying ‘ your wife as Christ loved the Church.
“‘Why don’t we go out?’  ‘Why don’t we go to the bars?’  It’ll help you to relax.  So that’s where the process started,” she said.  “I’d make excuses to be able to go out.  And at that point, I think he was agreeing with anything just to make me happy.  Because that made me happy – to be able to go out.  I’d get all excited.
“During that time, I did go to jail for a DUI and that was hard,” Michelle said.  “There was another time where I had come home and we had started fighting in the middle of the night and I hit 911.  And they came and they carried both of us because we been fighting, fist-fighting and because there was marks on both us, we both went to jail.
“I did whatever I wanted to do when I wanted to do it.  So when I got married, it was great and hunky-dory and everything in the beginning, but then all of a sudden it was like, I’m not independent anymore, you know, everything has to go through him.  And I didn’t like that,” Michelle said.
“God totally took me and He transformed me,” Michelle said.  “He allowed me to forgive myself for the things that I had done, not only to him (Shawn), but to my children.
Shawn took a position in Florida as a youth pastor.  They struggled financially.  And after the birth of their second son, Michelle developed postpartum depression.  Both factors wreaked havoc with her emotions to the point when she lashed out at everyone, especially Shawn.
Shawn has returned to his calling in the ministry, and Michelle is with him.  Now, they know firsthand how difficult it is to rebuild a relationship—and that it starts with a solid relationship with Christ. – It was a fairy-tale romance.  Love at first sight, a whirlwind courtship.  But for Shawn and Michelle Brooks, married life turned out to be much more of a challenge than either of them bargained for.
“I’d prayed so many times, but this night it was special.  It was different,” he said.  “I heard the audible voice of God.
“The Lord revealed to me that He was calling me to pastor.  He was calling me to preach.  And, of course, when you get that calling from God, you want to jump on it right away,” he said.
“I was like, ‘God, my best friend’s gone.’  You called us into this ministry together.  I know you called us.  I said, ‘God I need to know now.
Michelle and Shawn Brooks’ marriage had deteriorated into fighting and bitterness.  But it didn’t start out that way.
Michelle took the boys and moved back home to Georgia.  Shawn left the ministry and followed.
Hawkins is the director of the Marriage Recover Center where he counsels couples in distress. He is the author of over 30 books, including When Pleasing Others Is Hurting You, Love Lost: Living Beyond a Broken Marriage, and Saying It So He’ll Listen.
By the time one mate leaves the home, the adversarial fires are often burning very hot, often propelling the marriage into Divorce Court.
Christian resources for your marriage, all free online at! Find Christian based information on situations that arise in any relationship between husband and wife.
The second, the time when you are separated from your partner is actually a moment where you have to do something that is very useful on how to fix a broken marriage, ie.
You might be wondering, what’s the point of making a confession list like this? Well, it is the first step in figuring out how to fix a broken marriage.
If you are humbly able to acknowledge your mistakes and admit that you really need your spouse, you are on the right track on how to fix a broken marriage.
Confess to your partner how you have contributed to destroy your marriage and never do anything that could fix your broken marriage.
If you want your spouse back to you, the following information will really help you to know how to fix a broken marriage.
Do not try to experiment by using this technique on your own, but make sure that you already have a working plan from a marriage relationship expert that will guide you at every step.
Now, I really hope you are honest and able to show some of the things you have done or never have you done before which have destroyed your marriage and your relationship.
This entry was posted on Monday, April 15th, 2013 at 10:56 am and tagged with burning bridges, divorce, divorce prevention, family therapy, forgiveness, healing of marriage, infidelity, marriage, relaitonships, whatever it takes and posted in Uncategorized.
So why is it so rare to find a marriage that is saved at the midnight hour? Because people who are so broken find it nearly impossible to believe that there is hope.
Taking equal responsibility and equal roles allows each of you to feel fully valued in your relationship and as long as you each listen to each other and allow each other the space and time needed to grow closer together, you will have a solid foundation for a long lasting relationship going forward.
If your partner has expressed concern over your attitude, or was otherwise upset by something you’ve done, perhaps this course in Managing Your Own Mind within a relationship will help you to understand what you need to change about yourself to make your relationship work.
Often when you feel that your relationship is on the rocks, the first thing on your mind is how to stop it from ending and how to make the other person stay.
Commitment is important, you and your partner must agree together to work at your relationship every day if you want it to succeed.
Although it is sad to say, a relationship will rarely work when one person is more invested than the other, or when one person intends it to last longer than the other.
Communication, trust, mutual understanding, hard work and commitment are needed in every relationship.
The Marriage Fitness counseling program can help couples save their marriage when they feel like all hope is lost.
Is your marriage in trouble? Are you frustrated with your spouse or partner? Do you feel like you’re not as close as you used to be? Hope is not lost.
This might sound different from typical marriage counseling tactics, but that only makes it an even better option for those looking for an alternative from the norm.
As a marriage expert and founder of alternative counseling techniques, I’ve seen real couples fix their broken marriages.
Consider these alternative methods to improving your marriage because until you’ve tried it all, you won’t feel like you gave it your all.
One thing you should keep in mind, even if your spouse seems unwilling to work on the marriage, is that you can start the healing process on your own.
But, if you feel like nothing can fix your current situation, Marriage Fitness might be exactly what your relationship needs.
Millions of people around the world bemoan the fact that their marriage is plagued by neglect, boredom, infidelity, betrayal, money issues, or the threat of divorce.
You don’t always need to fix every little thing that’s wrong with a marriage, rather, you need to work on making new things right.
It might seem like there are no options for you, but there are ways to get your marriage back on track.
My name Martins Precious,my husband and i, live in USA and we are blessed with two awesome kids.I would say we were the most perfect family on planet earth but as they say nothing is ever perfect even when it seem to be.My husband was a successful business man involved in the buying companies in trouble so he traveled a lot and met new persons in different countries, girls in particular.unfortunately for me, my husband became that unfaithful man no woman pray to have.At first i had no idea of what my husband had become cos i was too busy taking care of our kids.As a matter of fact i never knew until he got himself with someone that was greater than him a voodoo man daughter.He told me all he had being doing all these years i was busy taking care of our kids how he had sexual relation with i would say countless of girls.I was so mad that i could not even look at him.Crying was all i could do at that moment i tried my best to keep the children out of this madness.I wanted to move out with my kid and let him face his problem alone but i was too in love to see my husband become enslaved by a witch and the witch had threaten to kill me, my husband and kids if he doesn’t live us for her so i was not safe any where in the world cos like word had it, she was the daughter to the strongest voodoo man in India.As time went on she cast a spell on my husband and now had full control of him.We no longer share the same room, he became so violent i had to take my kids to a safe place and finally he took off to be with the witch.It was killing me, my husband and my family cos he no longer cared about anything but the witch.Most often he realizes himself and call me on the phone with a heavy voice telling me he cant fight it i mean he was crying i was crying and so confused.Not knowing what to do was killing me.I thought the only way to break a spell is to use a stronger spell.I read a lot of article on how people got help from OGBU BABA, a spell caster i mean it was all over the internet.I would never had thought of this but desperate time.I contact this OGBU BABA, told him all that i found myself in and about the witch girl but OGBU BABA, was beyond the spell.He convinced me that he can handle it so i pushed on with spell casting.He asked for some item i could get but sending it over to him was expensive.So sent the money to him to get the items.He made a protection spell for me and my kids cos he said to break the witch spell we needed to go war and she was going to come for me and she did but the protection was beyond her power.It took him just two days to fight and destroy the witch spell and her father and the spell she kept on my husband and finally setting my husband free.My husband was so happy this is what i didn’t get to see for a very long time when the witch was tried ruin our lives.This one man,, saved my husband and my family.If you need help contact him with his emailing box he does all kind of spell.
i will love to share my testimony to you all the people in world.i got married to my husband about 2 year ago we start having problems at home like we stop sleeping on the same bed,fighting about little things he always comes home late at night,drinking too much and sleeping with other women out side.i have never love any man in my life except him.he is the father of my child and i don’t want to loose him because we have worked so hard together to become what we are and have today.few month ago he now decided to live me and the kid,being a single mother can be hard sometimes and so i have nobody to turn to and i was heart broken.i called my mom and explain every thing to her,my mother told me about DR.agumagu how he helped her solve the problem between her and my dad i was surprise about it because they have been without each other for three and a half years and it was like a miracle how they came back to each other.i was directed to DR.agumagu on his email: and explain everything to him,so he promise me not to worry that he will cast a spell and make things come back to how we where so much in love again and that it was another female spirit that was controlling my husband.he told me that my problem will be solved within two days if i believe i said OK.So he cast a spell for me and after two days my love came back asking me to forgive him.i Am so happy now.
Thank you thank you DR ABULU for the good work you just did in my life , my name is JULIANNA i was married to my husband for two years and we were living together happily and we both love each other for this two year not until one bad evening when i came back from work late due to scares of transportation and he started queering and he said he does not trust me anymore and he can continue with this marriage anymore and he drove me away from his house unknowingly to him that i was carrying his two month old baby inside me i tried informing he but he won,t listen to me anymore i thought i will never get him back again and i loved him so much and i promise not to rest until am able to get him back to my life so i began to look for a solution and help to get him back this was because i do not want to give birth to a fatherless child so one afternoon as i was browsing on my computer i came across a testimony shared by miss Rachael from UK how she got his ex husband back with the help of Dr abulu of ( so i decided to give him a try and to my best surprise the spell this man cast on my husband work just within two days i contacted him .
Make a promise to work on your marriage every single day — not just during the bad times, but also during the good ones.
Even if you feel like a victim, you play a role in setting up what is and isn’t acceptable in your marriage.
If the methods you’ve been using aren’t working, it’s time to try new ones.
It is not too late: You can rescue your relationship and reconnect with your partner.
Recognize that you have the power to redefine the relationship.
It will involve you being mocked by the enemy and all powers of the dark forces unseen that are hell bent on destroying your marriage, yourself, and your Seed because they know the threat a Christian family presents to their work in the world; they will spit on your progress, hurl insults at you in the mirror, they will place a crown of shame and depression upon your head, they will beat you with your wife’s rejections, they will ask you ‘where is your God?’ after your hundreth prayer gone unanswered, they will pierce your side by tempting your wife to destroy your character through gossip and half-stories about your relationship, they will hammer nails through your hands and feet keeping in attempts to demobilize you in your reconciliation efforts, they will let your raw scarred bleeding body hang naked for all the world to see upon a wooden cross made for criminals.
Another woman, considering the turbulent events of the past year that had driven her to grow emotionally and spiritually while she “loved her husband back” to their marriage, said, “It’s been all gain for me.
Marriage counselor Anne Kristin Carroll says, “If you think there’s no hope because you are the only one in your relationship who wants or cares enough to try to save your marriage, you are wrong!” She adds, “In my experience most torn marriages are brought to new life, new vitality by the interest, basically, of only one party.” This has been my experience as well.
He now says he wants a break without any explanation, I’m truly a broken hearted woman! I’m trying so hard to make things work but I’m in this marriage alone, I feel so betrayed, so lonely, unattractive and very unhappy.
Please pray the Lord will give my wife discernment and clarity, that He continue to put a hedge of protection around our marriage and children, and that He would help my wife discern “counsel” from well intended friends and family who offer destructive advice contrary to the will of God for marriages.
I’m asking if you guys could pray for my husband and I and for my husband to find the Lord and do what’s right and come home to save our marriage.
There have been a handful of times I’ve been ready to quit the fight at saving our marriage alone because my wife’s rejections are just too emotionally intense to deal with and it leaves me feeling unhealthy for myself and my children.
As someone who vowed divorce would NEVER be an option, I’ve recently faced the agonizing reality that my marriage has also NEVER been one of emotional, spiritual, financial, or sexual health.
It has been a blessing to find this website that is commited to God’s words on marriage and pray for all of us that we are going through this difficult time.
Please pray for me as I’m going through a hard time with my husband due to him and my mother can not get a long amongst other things.
“I’m not standing by my marriage anymore on the basis of what the outcome will be,” one woman told me.
(ENGLAND) Hi all I have been inspired by all your stories, I’m currently going through a difficult period in my marriage.
I’ve been really stressed out and sad and pray for my husband everyday to find the Lord and to follow his words.
As you try to gain clarity of thought concerning your marital situation viewed in light of the teaching of Scripture, I suggest that you read the first five chapters of the book, Love Life for Every Married Couple and search the Scriptures that have to do with marriage.
I wish Christian websites would more readily address the murky area of emotional abuse.. and ESPECIALLY how it affects children!! It is extremely difficult to survive in this environment, yet I’ve been told that physical abuse is the only reason He permits divorce.
This is sooo what I’ve been looking for and I’ve done all these things and pray for my husband everyday.
Please help me pray that my current separation from my wife ends and that we reconcile and fix our marriage by going to counseling, that my wife takes me back and we work together to fix our marriage.
I’ve been married for over seven years to a man that I love with all of my heart.
A man said, “During the time when I was trying to win my wife’s love and hold our family together, sometimes I got so tired of rejection that I didn’t feel anything except a determination to do what the Bible said and leave the results with God.
There is no replacement for what a couple’s therapist can do for a relationship, but you’ll find throughout these steps that the best cures for an ailing marriage are simple honesty and the desire to work things out.
Do you remember what it was like to be in love for the first time? Now that you’ve looked at why your partner loves you, and what you’ve been trying to build together, it might be time to rebuild connections that can get lost because of time, new jobs, children, and more.
If you truly love the person you’re with and want to spend your life with them, then you have to maintain the working parts of the marriage just as you would with a machine.
Another mistake couples make is the ultimatum; you absolutely cannot put a time frame on when a marriage is going to be “okay.” In fact, the process of healing and rebuilding may go on for years, or even decades.
Was it your loveable flaws, your undeniable charm, or was it the emotional journey you’ve been through that brought the two of you together? Or is it a complex combination of all of that? Look at what there is to love about you first so that you can understand your partner and what he or she sees in you.
If your marriage truly began out of love then it’s time to look at where that love came from, in both sides of the relationship.
Has there been a loss of passion and intimacy? Do you find yourself getting angry with your spouse for seemingly no reason, and arguing with them more than you are affectionate? It might be time for you both to sit down and start being honest.
If the problems in your marriage are caused by a mistake, it might be time to look for forgiveness.
While experts suggest that you can define your marriage as sexless only if you are having sex less than 10 times a year, the truth of the fact is that you cannot quantify sex.
Don’t bury your head in the sand, it is up to you to find the solution for your sexless marriage.
A sexless marriage isn’t a problem in itself.
On the other hand, there are many couples who fall into a sexless situation in their 30′s or even 20′s.
At some point you either dig in your heels and say to yourself, “I’m never changing the fucking lightbulb.” Or, “She can fix the fucking lightbulb herself.” And even when you know the unmowed lawn is bugging her, you don’t mow it.
I remember a point in our final breakdown when I asked her, “How do you think we’re going to be able to afford two houses in this school district?” She wasn’t thinking about me.
“Fuck if I’m going to change that lightbulb,” I thought.
I have no way of knowing whether or not you married the wrong person, but I do know that many people have a lot of wrong ideas about marriage and what it takes to make that marriage happy and successful.
If you check the beliefs of divorcées about marriage, you will find that they always have the wrong ones – those witty, mocking, sarcastic beliefs.
In my relationship coaching program, I hear many couples use statements that make fun of commitment, mock stability and relationships and encourage giving up the marriage as an easy, accepted and preferable thing.
On the other hand, if you marry the right person, and treat that person wrong, you certainly will have ended up marrying the wrong person.
I believe some of it is due to couples believing that they cannot fix their marriage, heal from conflicts and overcome the challenges they go through as part of life.
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Rapper turned pastor Mase who built a lucrative church and related business partly on his secrets to a successful marriage secretly filed for divorce from his pastor wife.
The fiasco is priceless — if you look at the website for Mase’s El Elyon International Church in Atlanta the entire thing is built around his successful relationship with his wife.
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In many instances, marriage vows would be more accurate if the phrase were changed to ‘Until debt do us part’.
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If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings … and lawyers.
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Marriage can be viewed as the waiting room for death.
Replacing destructive patterns of by events that strengthen your marriage by being able to handle tricky situations well.
My determination and will helped me discover the secrets to revive the marriage and the relationship.And I can share that secret formula with you.
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